In the 12th century King Cnut thought that his command was so powerful he could hold back the waves of the sea. He famously failed (history resource: The Meads primary school assembly circa 1986).
Since the launch of the iPhone, the omnipotent techno God Steve Jobs has been holding back the watery mirk of Flash from the purity of his beloved Apple. Announced during the IBC trade show in Amsterdam on Friday by those Cnuts at Adobe - he has failed. Maybe. Sort-of. Ish.
1 In the beginning God created the creative (how ironic). 2 But the creative was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters ('n that).
3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “print,” and the darkness he called “digital.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
6 And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” 7 So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. He didn't write this passage so that it made much sense, but stick with it - he was a visual guy really, like Rolf Harris or someone. 8 God called the vault “screens.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
9 And God said, “Let the print under the screen be gathered to one place, and let dry substrate appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry substrate “paper,” And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, “Let the paper produce pages: word and image-bearing communications that bear industrious fruit with seed on it (think Razzle), according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The paper produced pages and books, leaflets and posters: And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
13 And God said, “Let there be RGB lights in the digital screens to separate the printed from the displayed, 14 and let them be quite flashy and appeal to the shortest of sight and least bountiful of lady-craft” And it was so. 15 And God saw that it was good. 16 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
17 And God said, “Let the pages and books, leaflets and posters teem with fictional and non-fictional creatures, and let dynamic content and interaction fly above the earth across the screens of the digital.” 18 So God created the great creatures of the page and screen and every living thing with which they teem and that moves about, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 19 God blessed them. And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
20 Then God said, “Let us make creatives in our image, but in skinny jeans with glasses and a whiff of arrogance and pretension, so that they may rule over the words and pictures, over the illustrations, fonts and graphics, and over all the colours of the earth like they were important or something”
21 So God created creatives in his own image, but it was the image of that 2 years he interned in Shoreditch.
22 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; but never cross thy streams or else try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."
23 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
24 On the seventh day God rested and watched England thump India at the cricket, and this also was good.
