1. Star Knight
This Star knightlooks a bit familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. His bike certainly looks like it packs quite a lot of force.
2. Thomas the tank goes postal: Super Electric Thomas.
This is THE most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.
3. Robert Cop
Now, if there ever was a movie series that was just perfect for kids - it's RoboCop. I'm sure seeing Murphy's hand blown off with a shotgun is an image which has haunted many a child since the mid-eighties. Why, this makes it perfect for Major News style version then, right? Step in Robert Cop, who apparently was successful enough the first time round to warrant Robert Cop 2.
4. Titanic-bot
A tansformers rip-off based upon a ship that sank. What made up the rest of this toy-line? The Bismark-bot, the Hindenburg-bot and the Mary Celeste-Bot?
5. SuperMan Fly-em-high
Good job they gave Superman a parachute here- otherwise he'd be dead meat.
6. Spaderman
Not since Robert Cop and Robert Cop 2 has a brand been ripped off with such satisfying subtlety as Spaderman. This is nearly, but not quite as bad as the iHub.
7. Spiderman Adventure Heroes
So all your mates have the latest Thundercats toys with flashing lights in the eyes and realistic arm movements - you come home to find your parents have purchased a new Spiderman toy. GREAT! you can finally chuck your Spaderman into the same box as your old Greenflash and the Star knight - but wait, Adventure Hero range? A bow and arrow wielding farmer from the deep south. Curse you Major News, curse you!
8. Star Force
I always felt the Millenium Falcon was a terrible design - a theory which I proved correct by this Star Force example of design perfection. I think it's the Tampo Printing which really elevates it beyond Lucas's mediocre vision.
9.The Protector
I'll be back! But badly drawn as a slightly camp looking orange-tinged cartoon on a super bike.
10. Silver Bat
You might think this is Batman riding a horse, but think again fools. There is no ranch in Gotham City that I remember - the writers from DC went out on a limb to create some of the most interesting and imaginative bad guys of all time - but even they didn't make Batman lasoo down some gun-totin' psycho. This is Silver Bat and he's different to Batman in nearly every way and CERTAINLY isn't made from the off-cuts from the my little pony factory with a rejected BatMan figure glued to the back.
11. Special Man
I often wondered what you would have to do if Superman just wasn't super enough? Sure his ability to jump buidling a with a single bound etc. is pretty neat - but let's face it we have Spaderman on the scene now and Superman just isn't special an more. Whoa there! That's where we have Special Man. He's like Superman, but his mum told him he's special. I'm not entirely sure what's going on with his hands - his left hand inparticular looks like he's ready to share a Special time in the toilets with some special guy - but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, sure in the notion that he hasn't slept his way to the top - he's special by nature.
12. Shifty
This brand at least has the common decency to be up-front about the dubious implimentation of it's source material. Shifty is right, this is just Lego - deal with it.
To sum up, I am almost tempted to buy an iHub just for posterity - a physical record of a device which although almost certainly flawed in design and produced using only the finest Kit-Kat wrappers and Tango cans is brazen enough to shamelessly know its target market and adjust itself accordingly. Sad fact is I imagine as soon as Apple see one, it'll be for the high jump - and if that happens maybe my iHub will be worth something, like that stamp where the Queen's giving a cheeky wink or that poster that had a typo on it during its first print run.
