Sharing a lot with the prostitution sector these locations included:

> Street Corners
> Traffic Lights
> Meandering up and down deserted streets
> Roundabouts

I couldn't quite believe my eyes when one of these guys was virtually standing in the middle of the road joggling his sign about like Mohammed Ali after a particularly bad day in the ring, who was literally taking his life in his hands for the presumably thankless task of advertising cheesy, bready nonsense. I think it's rather endearing that this dedicated professional was so into the job at hand and I'm all for innovation in the field of advertising, but come on! This has to be a step in the wrong direction, I mean - what's next getting the people who accost you at traffic lights in london to slip menus under your wiper blades when they're done cleaning your car for you (whether it needed doing or not).

I did think it was an illegal practice, but a quick Googleizaltion (I just coined a new term - how proud) yields some interesting nuggets. I'd forgotten that people had been walking around wearing sandwich boards (at least in Hollywood blockbusters) for eons - and that it can't be illegal to either A: hold Signs or B: promote a brand upon your person. If this were the case then every chav scumbag in their logo-heavy pseudo sports wardrobe would be arrested immediately - or at least the police would have something further to want to bang them up for.

The trouble is that as far as I can see, driving past someone who is demonstrating an air of desperation by doing one of the all-time shit jobs in the world does not make me immediately want to go and buy a pizza. I didn't stop at the lights, see this fellow holding a sign and think, wow - I am a little peckish and now I have seen this cool-looking dude with this AmAzINg offer I'm going straight home to bell up Dominos to cash in. Far from it - I think: poor bastard, what kind of world are we in when a big brand like Dominos can so easily take advantage of the needy and young by getting them to do these horrible things. My immediate reaction was of revulsion and shame and I struggled to make eye contact or look in the direction of the offer at all - to the point where in truth, my driving was impaired. From a practical point of view, this aint a great idea for an advert. Imagine crossing the world of Tortue-porn (a la Saw films) with tea-time adverts for the Mr Kiplings exceedingly good something or other. If you don't wanna look, you don't get to see, right?

What's next and how low will the brands go? Here's my top 5 list of morally corrupt advertising ideas the marketing geezers and girls from Dominos might want to consider.

1. Prostitutes wearing dominos branded mini-skirts and using mighty meaty condoms
2. Tramps drinking White Lightening from a Dominos branded plastic cup and pissing on a dominos branded bench
3. Covering traffic signals completely with Dominos stickers and menus
4. Dominos branded hyperdermic syringes
5. The Barclays Premiership, now we have The Dominos World Cock-Fighting Championship

For the sake of their health and safety and their own self-respect I hope this practise ceases and that Dominos, the tight bastards spend some of their budget on putting up properly designed billboards like everyone else. We'll do it for you Dominos, at a reasonable rate and in quick-time so you really have no excuse. Sheesh, I'm off to buy a Papa Johns.